Dependence
by DarlingPersephone
Summary: Lucrezia and Cesare, modernized.
1. Chapter 1

Lucrezia sit quietly in the armchair closest to the door. She is pretending to read her Jane Austen novel for class, but out of the corner of her eye, she watches the clock carefully. _Five fifty. _Her mother is concentrated on knitting a scarf; the one for Cesare as a Christmas gift. Lucrezia picked out the yarn; the dark, deep blood red color represented Cesare perfectly; most especially when he was with his father at the company, bossing about employees, barking directions. _Five fifty-five. _Yet, it was soft, warm and cozy. It reminded her of when Cesare would sneak up behind her, snake his arms around her waist and kiss her cheek. _Five fifty-seven. _

Lucrezia sighs and closes her book impatiently. Her mother looks up from the scarf and smiles sweetly. "What's the matter, dear?" she asks. Lucrezia's heart sped up for a brief moment. She ignores it. "Tired of reading," she lies. Her mother nods, understandingly. "Why don't you take a break from homework, hm? Go ahead and set the table. Your father and the boys should be home soon."

She nods and heads to the kitchen. Inside, Gioffre, her little brother and the youngest Borgia, is drooling over the freshly baked chocolate cake that sits on the counter. Lucrezia shoos him away, sending him to wash his face and hands before dinner. She begins to set out the dishes and silverware when she hears the door creak open. Excitedly, she runs to the mirror in the hallway next to the kitchen. Deeming her hair decent, she prances out to the living room.

There, her father, business tycoon Rodrigo Borgia, is being kissed by her mother. Juan, who just started interning at the company, wrestles Gioffre to the ground. Cesare casually hangs his coat and hat and glides over to his mother. "Hello," he greets with a kiss on the cheek. "How was your day?" he asks.

But Cesare does not listen to his mother's reply. He watches little Lucrezia's gaze peak out from her eyelashes. She beams at him, illuminating her rosy cheeks and complexion. He walks over to her slowly and pulls her in for a hug. "And how is my sweet sister?" he whispers into her ear. Lucrezia giggles and replies with a "just fine".

"Just fine?" Cesare pulls away dramatically. "Why is my dear girl only _just fine_?" "She's had a lot of homework today." Their mother replies behind them. She feels warm and content as she watches her eldest tickle her daughter playfully. _Lucrezia has him wrapped around her little finger, _she thinks.

"Ah," says Cesare. "Well, you're so smart sis. Any college would die to have you." Lucrezia wrinkles her brow. "I'm not so sure anymore. Math is more difficult this year than I had anticipated." "If you need a tutor, all you need to do is ask." Her father assures her. Juan snorts from behind them. "Or we'll pay the teacher off. Isn't that how you got through Physics, brother?"

Cesare shoots Juan and glare, but Rodrigo just laughs. "Come, come! It's time for supper!"

…

At the dinner table, Cesare's hand brush against Lucrezia's exactly three times. She's counted. She desperately wishes to grab his and place a kiss on it, but she knows better than that. She knows better than to do that in public.

So, instead, Lucrezia concentrates at the head of the table, on her father. He is boasting of the crucial deal that was closed today, earning his company enormous profit. Every so often, she glances over at Cesare's face. He sips his wine, carrying a bemused expression. As if he knows his little sister is watching.

…

Tonight is no different from other nights.

Lucrezia showers, brushes her teeth and hair, and then says goodnight to her parents and brothers. She slips under her covers and opens the Jane Austen novel and waits. She waits until she can no longer hear the hum on the television from the living room or Rodrigo's laughter. She waits until she can no longer hear Juan's music pulsing through the hallway. She waits until she can no longer hear her mother's footsteps as she carries Gioffre into his room.

It is ten-thirty when the house is fully quiet. Slowly, Lucrezia lets her feet touch the wood flooring. She sets her book onto her nightstand and turns off her lamp light. She blindly reaches for the doorknob and stumbles to Cesare's door.

Cesare hears the doorknob to his room turn. He slowly looks up from his book, though he already knows who is there. Lucrezia waits patiently in his doorway, waiting him to invite her in. His stomach twists and turns with the different emotions that course through him. Guilt. Disgust. But, love. There was always love.

He groans internally and gives into his vices. Lucrezia grins giddily and quietly shuts the door behind her. She skips towards his bed and nuzzles herself into his side.

_This can't keep going; _he thinks as her wraps his arm around her. _We have to stop. _

She places a trail of kisses on his cheek, his neck, behind his ear and on the corner of his lips. Cesare imagines stopping her. He imagines telling her to go back to her room where she belongs at this hour. He imagines packing all of his things and being out of the house by morning; out in the city, keeping her safe from his clutches.

But Cesare doesn't do that.

Instead, he cranes his neck and plants a soft kiss on her lips. Lucrezia melts into his arms, sighing softly beneath him.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you all for reading - you really made my week/month/year. This is a small chapter, mostly because I am sleepy, but also giving you a feel of the Borgia home life. **

The next morning, Lucrezia awakes –magically – in her own bedroom, to the sound of her alarm blaring. She groans and slams her hand down to quiet the horrible machine. She stumbles her way over to the wall to switch on her light. She groans even louder as the brightness blinds her.

It is seven in the morning, but every Borgia is awake. Down the hall, Lucrezia hears her father bustling about the room, getting ready for work. Juan is in the bathroom casually singing Frank Sinatra. A sleepy Gioffre makes his way down the stairs for breakfast.

She glances at Cesare's room; the light is on, but the door is closed. She sighs and heads back into her room to get dressed.

There is no use to communicating with Cesare in the morning. Once upon a time, he had been quite the morning person; always the one to drag Lucrezia out of her bed for school. Now, he was grumpy, distance and cold. Her parents would blame it on the stress at work.

But Lucrezia knows better.

She knows that Cesare condemning himself for letting Lucrezia stay in his room. One moment Cesare is teasing and willing, the next, austere. When they had first started, Lucrezia was hurt by this, mad even, but after weeks of their activities, she has learned to accept his manner.

Lucrezia pulls on her school uniform: the solid blue jumper over a white collared shirt. She contemplates over what to do with her hair, but eventually gives in to a ponytail. Yawning, she lazily makes her way down the stairs and into the dining room.

"Good morning, my dear!" Her father says, kissing her forehead. His pleasant mood from the day before seemed to have carried over from yesterday.

As soon as she takes her seat, a servant places a glass of orange juice and a bowl of fruit in front of her. Their presence always made her uncomfortable; their real purpose was not to help her mother, but for her father to display his wealth.

"Hello, hello!" Juan calls enthusiastically. He grabs a glass from the servant's platter and starts gluping as he seats himself.

All the optimism in the room makes Lucrezia want to vomit. She dreads Cesare's arrival at the table.

Her father and Juan make small talk while her mother nags Gioffre about his unironed pants.

"I don't understand how they are like this!" She says to him, frustrated. "Marie sets out a perfectly ironed uniform every night."

"I got this from the closet." Gioffre answers.

Vanozza shuts her eyes tightly and rubs her temples. "I clearly must have a word with Marie."

"Surely, Mother," a deep voice booms from behind Lucrezia, "It cannot be the nanny's fault that Gioffre prefers to be in dirty clothes,"

Lucrezia's oatmeal goes down in a hard swallow. He sits down beside her and helps himself to some toast.

Rodrigo chuckles lightly. "Cesare's right, darling! Boys will be boys!"

Cesare's presence brings about a loss of appetite in Lucrezia. She leans back into her chair and starts to stir her oatmeal around the bowl.

"Did everyone sleep well?" Cesare asks lightly.

"Fantastic!" Rodrigo booms. Vanozza agrees with a small smile.

"I most _certainly _did." Juan remarks coyly. "I had the most _wonderful _company." He winks at Cesare and sips his orange juice.

His mother smacks his arm lightly. "What have I told you about sneaking girls into the house?"

Juan threw his arms up defensively. "It doesn't count if she already lives here."

Out of the corner of her eye, Lucrezia sees a maidservant blush furiously.

Cesare shrugs off Juan's silliness. "How about you, little Gioffre?"

Gioffre nods his head with a mouth full of waffles.

"How did you sleep, brother?" Lucrezia pipes up. Her eyes earnestly search his face with anticipation of the response.

Cesare hesitates for a moment, but his face eventually breaks out into a wide grin. "It was lovely," he answers. "I too had wonderful company."

His hand snakes over her knee until it can intertwine with hers.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Ahh! You lovelies make me blush! You're the best. I have a tumblr, link in the profile! Add me so we can talk about the Borgias! Xo**

"Lucrezia!" Cesare lightly tugs on his sister's arm before she runs out the front door. A small giggle escapes her lips when she bumps into his chest.

"Yes?" Lucrezia asks softly.

Cesare rubs his thumb across her cheek, a small smile snaking its way across his lips. He puts his lips to her ear, "Your hair looks far lovelier when it is worn down." He kisses her temple and releases her hair from its band. It tumbles down her shoulders and back like a platinum waterfall.

"Have a wonderful day."

…

Cesare takes his lunch break exactly at noon. If he should listen to another complaint or demand from his father, he would throw himself out of the twentieth story window. So he takes up the armchair next to the window, bowl of pasta in hand, and quietly reflects on recent events.

His mind conjures up an image of Lucrezia just months before. She is laughing effortlessly, her hair blowing about in the summer's breeze. It is the very moment when Cesare realized that his love went beyond the bounds of traditional sibling relationship.

He supposes it had always been that way since the day of her birth when his mother had placed the small baby girl in his six-year-old-arms. His eyes were transfixed to her face; its pale, luminous complexion highlighted by a soft halo of golden hair. Cesare had believed his mother had given birth to a little angel.

He hadn't been far from the truth.

From that day on, Cesare was forever changed. His world seemed to shift completely; she was the sunshine he gravitated towards. In some ways he had been more involved in her upbringing than their parents had.

Cesare remembers calling his sister's name in the living room, urging his toddler sister to walk across the small space to him. Her chubby little legs struggled to stay balanced until finally, she'd fallen face-first onto the carpeting. It was Cesare, not their mother that sprang up to comfort his wailing little sister. "It's alright, 'Crezia!" He says endearingly. "We'll just try again _one more_ time!"

He remembers his mother running her fingers through his hair with a bright smile on her lips. "You are such a _fantastic_ brother, Cesare. I am so proud of you." She says to him as she tucks him into bed.

A fantastic brother was all Cesare wanted to be. From the moment she was born, Cesare had a compulsion to protect little Lucrezia from harm's way. The older he grew and the greater understanding of the secrets that were held within his family. How could he let his sweet baby sister be exposed to them? No, Cesare must always be sure to keep them far from her.

…

**Flashback: Summer**

Vanozza Borgia is having her annual meeting for this year's debutante ball. She is planning for an extravagant event for this year's ball. It is to be held in October, around Halloween; a glamorous masquerade for its theme. Vanozza and her high society friends plan every little detail while Lucrezia sits quietly in an armchair in the corner of the room, thumbing through a couture fashion magazine.

"That one would look _stunning _on you."

Confused, Lucrezia looks up to the face of one of her mother's friends, "I'm sorry, what?" she asks politely.

The woman points to the magazine page. It's a picture of a bright blue gown with a tight corset on the top and an overflow of poufy tulle at the bottom. "T-this? On me?" Lucrezia laughs lightly. "Oh, no ma'am," She shakes her vigorously.

The woman smiles sweetly. "Then whatever will you wear to the ball?"

"Ball?" Lucrezia furrows her brow. "I'm not going to the ball."

Vanozza laughs theatrically. "Darling, you're seventeen now. Of _course _you're going!" She touches her friend's arm delicately. "It's the dress," she whispers. "We need something a little more 'Crezia."

Lucrezia never had a desire for balls or parties or any gathering which required flashy dressing. She had avoided debutante balls by the fortunate circumstance of being under the required age. But, now she was seventeen, and her mother being the head of the board for the balls, her luck had run out. Lucrezia opens her mouth to protest, but one look at her mother's face and she quickly shut it. The expression Vanozza wears clearly read that Lucrezia was not going to get out of it.

"Excuse me," She says quietly.

Once she is out of the view of the formal entertaining area, Lucrezia breaks into a run for the backyard. On his way to the kitchen, Cesare sees his sister rushing towards the garden. Without any hesitation, he quickly follows behind her.

When he enters the garden, he cannot find Lucrezia at first. After a little hunting, he sees her on the open hill past the gazebo, staring out into the rolling landscape. She has huddled herself into a little ball, with her knees up to her chin. Her cheeks are stained with tears.

Cesare takes his place behind her so he can wrap his arms around her. Lucrezia doesn't jump; she recognizes him by the embrace. Only Cesare could hold her this way. He nuzzles himself into the crook of her neck. "What is troubling you so, my love?"

"Mother!" Lucrezia sobs. "I-I don't want to seem ungrateful…but I just don't want to go!"

Cesare doesn't ask what she speaks of, for he is aware of what day it is.

"Sshh now, sweet sister," He sooths her with soft kisses along her jaw line, "You must understand that in the name of keeping the peace in the family, personal sacrifices must be made."

Cesare knew all too well of sacrifices made to uphold the Borgia name.

"T-to make mother h-happy?" She sniffles.

Cesare offers her a warm smile. "Precisely, sis," He takes her hand into his and kisses her palm. "If you do this for mother, I can assure you she will be more…lenient with your choices in the future."

Lucrezia considers her brother's words. Now that she was calmer she could think of the situation more sensibly. Like any other mother, she supposes, Vanozza would want to buy Lucrezia a beautiful dress and see her daughter all made up. Just like a little girl with her Barbie doll.

Lucrezia sighs. "I suppose one night wouldn't hurt." She makes a face. "But, I will _not _be going to prom."

Cesare laughs heartily. "It sounds like a fine compromise. Prom wasn't too much fun anyhow."

Lucrezia looks back at her brother, surprised. "You went to prom, Cesare?"

"Naturally, the school got father to be the head sponsor. So, I was forced to attend."

"What did you do about it?" She inquired.

Cesare pauses for a moment. He chuckles once again and tells her, "I snuck off to the staircases and read a book for about an hour or so."

Lucrezia puts her hand to her mouth and giggles.

"What are you laughing at?" Cesare growls playfully. He begins to tickle her ribs. Lucrezia's giggles become uncontrollable. She rolls over onto the grass next to her. Cesare straddles her and moves his fingers across her stomach.

After a minute more, Lucrezia pleas for him to stop finally won him over. "You win for now," he says breathlessly. He collapses onto the ground and they lay in silence for many moments.

Lucrezia is the one who breaks it.

"Do you love me Cesare?" She asks him.

He is taken aback by the question. "Of course," He says assuredly. "Why would you doubt it?"

She does not answer. Instead, Lucrezia sits up and once again brings her knees to her chest. She wraps her arms around her legs and stares off into the distance.

"'Crezia," He says carefully. "Why would you doubt if I cared for you?" He repeats. Cesare becomes suddenly worried. "Have I done something to offend you, sweetheart? Have I not comforted you successfully?"

"No," she answers quietly. "It is just the opposite."

Cesare sits up and puts his arm around her. "Tell me what is on your mind." He begs.

Lucrezia remains quiet for several minutes. She is painstakingly away of Cesare's thumb rubbing back and forth on her shoulder.

"You know what's funny?" Lucrezia asks this, though no real amusement is in her voice.

"Hmm?" Cesare rests his chin on her right shoulder.

"All my friends talk nonstop about the boys they are attracted to…"

"But you don't." He finishes.

"I don't," She agrees, "In fact, whenever I see these boys they fancy, I start comparing them to-to –" She begins to lose her nerve.

"Go on." He urges.

Lucrezia bites down on her lip. "To you," she says faintly.

Cesare is at a loss of words. Another person would laugh, saying that Lucrezia was born into a family of chivalrous men. They might even dismiss her comment as just having high expectations.

But Cesare knows better. He understands the deeper meaning beneath her words. It is the same revelation that they had (or rather he had) been avoiding for quite some time.

Lucrezia does not wait for a response from her brother. "When I think of marrying someone, starting a family, I quickly discard the thought." She turns her face so that she is nose to nose with Cesare.

"I don't think I will love anyone as I love you."

Cesare looks into his sister's glistening eyes. This was his little angel, the sweet girl he'd sworn to protect. Did that include protecting Lucrezia from himself? And what of his feelings? It had then occurred to Cesare that though he had been with many women in his lifetime, he had never once taken them seriously.

He cups her face and presses his forehead against hers. "I love you, too, Lucrezia." He breathes. Cesare softly places his lips to hers; as if he was afraid he would hurt her. Lucrezia scoots closer to him, wrapping his arms around her neck. Cesare pulls her on top of him and lies onto the grass.

Lucrezia sighs contentedly beneath him. "I love you," He attests. "I love you, I love you."


	4. Chapter 4

When Cesare arrives home from work, he finds that Lucrezia is not waiting by the door as usual. He casually asks his mother if Lucrezia is in her room. Vanozza sighs, "Yes," she says. "She is not pleased with me today."

"Why so?" Cesare inquires while he kisses his mother on the cheek.

"Tomorrow we have to buy a dress for the ball. She's has prolonged it long enough."

Cesare answers with a simple, "Ah."

"Honestly," Vanozza huffs. "You'd think I was asking her to camp for three days in the wilderness."

Rodrigo laughs. "She'd probably enjoy that much better!" Vanozza throws him an angry look, but Rodrigo just winks at her.

Cesare walks up the stairs to visit his sister's room. He knocks lightly and asks if he can come in.

Inside, Lucrezia is lying on her bed flipping through a fashion magazine her mother had given her. _To get some ideas! _

It was about as interesting to her as watching rocks heat in the sun.

When Cesare knocks, Lucrezia is so startled; she knocks the magazine off her bed. She normally waits for him to walk through the door, but she was so glum about dress shopping she'd lost track of time.

She jumps to the mirror and straightens out her hair. "Come in!" she calls.

Cesare opens the door cautiously to find Lucrezia smiling brightly. She runs over to him and plants a kiss on his cheek.

"How was work?" she asks, enthusiastically.

Cesare shrugs. "The usual," He takes her hand and sits on the end of her bed. "How was school today?"

Lucrezia rolls her eyes. She thinks of the idiot boys who started a small food fight during lunch. "It was alright."

Cesare chuckles and wraps his arms around her waist. It always amused Cesare how beyond her years his sister was. She never really felt comfortable with others her age.

"Now, what is with all the fuss about dress shopping?" Cesare asks.

Lucrezia sighs and sits down next to her brother. "You know father is making me take a boy?"

Cesare furrows his brow. "A boy? Like a date?"

"Yes," Lucrezia draws circles on Cesare's palm. "One of his business partner's sons or something,"

Unfortunately for Cesare, he knew exactly who his father had in mind. He pulls his hands away to rub his temples. "It must be the Sforzas," he says with a groan. "He needs them to make a business alliance."

He'd met the family just three days before. They were a powerful, influential family that Rodrigo was desperately interested in creating a contract with. They had two bone-headed sons, and a narcissistic daughter. Cesare had the misfortune of trying to entertain the children of the Sforzas while his father gave them his sales pitch.

Lucrezia rolls her eyes and flops back onto the bed. "Just wonderful! Not only will I be wildly uncomfortable, but I'll have the pleasure of having a date with a stick up his ass."

Cesare chuckles and lay back on her bed beside her. "We all have to make scarifies in the Borgia name." He tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "What if I went dress shopping with you and mother? Would that make you feel better?"

Lucrezia takes Cesare's hand and holds it to her face. She giggles lightly. "I can't imagine you having the patience to dress shop."

A small smile appears on his lips. "I prepared to do whatever painful task as long as it makes you happy."

Lucrezia rolls over to rest her head on his chest. He curls a lock of hair around his finger. "It _would _be nice to have someone there to tame mother." She sighs. "It'd still mean I have to go through with the night."

"Darling," Cesare groans. "You make it sound like you're about to go through surgery. It is one night of the spotlight –which you'll be sharing with twelve other girls mind you –but, it will make mother and father ridiculously happy, and in a few hours it will all be done."

His sister rolls her eyes. She knows that she is being unreasonable about the whole thing; hundreds of girls would die to have an experience like this. And Cesare was right, it would please their parents. She might as well suck it up for one night.

"Fine!" She gives in. "But you will go dress shopping with mother and I tomorrow after church. Deal?"

Cesare kisses her forehead. "Deal," he promises.

…

At dinner, Cesare reveals his interest in going with his mother and sister shopping tomorrow.

Rodrigo stares at his son as if he grew a third head. "My God, Cesare. Why on earth would you put yourself through that?"

Vanozza laughs, "To keep an eye on me, no doubt."

Lucrezia gulps down her food, and cautiously looks up at her mother. Vanozza just winks at her and takes a sip of wine. "Very well," she says. "If that is what it takes to get her in a dress, then so be it."

"Well, I just hope you don't spend too much." Rodrigo takes a bite of his roast chicken. "But, I do want you to pick out something lovely. To impress the Sforza boy, Giovanni."

Cesare chokes on his drink. "Wait, wait, wait a moment!"

Everyone is startled by his abruptness. Lucrezia places her hand on his knee under the table.

"Wait for what?" Rodrigo asks with surprise.

"Lucrezia's date is _Giovanni_?" His voice is shrill.

Rodrigo nods at his son, and goes on eating his dinner.

"But, father!" Cesare's voice is near shouting. "He is twenty-_five!" _

Cesare remembers meeting Giovanni at the office. He was tall, and bulky in a brutish way. He stayed silent during most of the business conversations, and only spoke to Cesare on the subject of hunting, which he was most interested in. His hair was at his shoulders, and slightly greasy at the top from neglect. He seemed to have an unpleasant look on his face, and strongly reminded Cesare of a pug.

The thought of his sister being around someone two years older than himself alone made Cesare extremely uncomfortable, but Lucrezia being forced to dance, dine, and hold hands with the brute made him wild with rage.

Lucrezia's mouth is agape. "Twenty-five! Twenty-_five! _You've got to be joking!"

"Now, now!" Rodrigo gestures for them both to lower their voices. "It is just a silly ball! The two aren't getting married!"

Cesare ignores his father. "Did you know about this?" He demands, facing his mother. "A fully grown man as your daughter's debutante date!"

"Cesare," Vanozza addresses him calmly. "Your father needs this deal with Giovanni's family. A harmless, little date is hardly illegal."

"What about the other Sforza boy!" Cesare asks desperately. "He is nineteen! Far more suitable of a date!"

"You don't suppose I didn't think of him first, do you?" Rodrigo snaps. "He is already going with someone!"

Lucrezia slams her fist onto the table. "I am _not _a consolation prize!" She cries. "Why do I never get a say in anything!" She quickly removes herself from the table, and runs up the stairs.

Juan scoffs and casually sips his wine. "She really is overdramatic, that one."

"When it is my turn to go to the ball," Gioffre pipes up. "I will go with whomever you like."

Rodrigo laughs. "That's my boy!" and ruffles his hair.

Cesare throws a dirty look at Juan. "As an older brother, it is your _duty _to protect Lucrezia." He looks over at Gioffre and adds, "And you are much too young to even grasp the depth of how wrong this situation is."

He leaves the table and runs up the stairs to Lucrezia's room.

…

Cesare finds her huddled onto her bed, sobbing into her pillow. Cesare's heart aches for a long moment. He was never thrilled when his father threw dates onto he and Juan, but at least the girls had been within his age range.

He had been much younger when he understood of the ways of things in the Borgia family. By now, he was so used to his father using him as bait to attract deals and contracts. The fact that Lucrezia now had to bear the burden as well made Cesare sick to his stomach. He wanted to protect her innocence from the Borgia secrets for as long as possible.

He crawls onto the bed and cuddles into Lucrezia.

"Shh, shh," he quiets her as he runs his fingers through his sister's hair. After a few minutes of hard sobbing, his sister quiets down to just silent tears rolling down her cheeks. He wipes them away with his thumb and kisses her nose.

"Is there any way to get out of this?" She asks, with a shaky breath.

Cesare exhales. "As much as I hate this…" he balls his hands into fists. "You know how father is."

Lucrezia groans and buries her face into her pillow. "I hate this."

"I know you do," he says sympathetically. "This is killing me."

Lucrezia couldn't help but think if it was really killing him, he'd try a little hard to get their father to find someone else.

"Darling?"

"Mmm?" Lucrezia's voice is muffled by her pillows.

Cesare breaks into a smile and wills Lucrezia to lift her face up.

"My love?" He addresses her again. He leans in and kisses her Cupid's bow.

Lucrezia flushes. "Yes?"

He takes her hand and holds it against his heart. "I promise you that I will watch over you and Giovanni like a hawk. I will make sure that if he lays a finger on you in any ill way…"

"Yes?" Lucrezia grins.

Cesare leans in to kiss her lips. Lucrezia savors the taste of his lips on hers.

"If he touches you in any ill way," he repeats. "I will cut him into pieces, and serve his heart to you on a plate."

**A/N: Oh hey guise! Sometimes I'm a responsible writer and update regularly! I suppose my excuse is that I have been waiting for the new season to be on for a bit. Anyways, as you may have inferred by now, this story is [obviously] not going to have exact historical detail, nor will it directly follow the show. So, the various Sforzas have been condensed from being cousins to being sibling, which I think will make things flow better. I would also like to add for no apparent reason, that I am watching two different episodes of the Borgias on two different Showtime channels, and flipping back and forth between the two. That is all. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: A short bit for you all tonight. Next chapter shall be the ball! Yay! xo**

As much as it had embarrassed Cesare to say it, he absolutely loathed going to church. It felt seemed so odd to him that his father can be a ruthless corporate businessman and somehow manages to also be deeply religious. Cesare often wondered what his father's prayers consisted of, and the things he would say going into confession. Would he feel guilty about his practices? Or would he not mention them in confession, seeing them as necessary to the family's welfare? _Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have run three companies out of business because they were interfering with my profits. But, I _do _have a family to feed…_ In any case, Cesare found it extremely hypocritical.

When they were younger, Cesare and his siblings were forced to go to church twice in one weekend: the morning Saturday service and the morning Sunday service. But now since most of the Borgia children were almost adults, they only had to go once a weekend.

This weekend, the family had chosen the Saturday service. Cesare preferred them as they were less crowded, and he could –frankly –get it the hell over with.

And so, early Saturday morning at eight o' clock, the Borgias stalk into the doors of the church, the very same one connected to Lucrezia's and Gioffre's school. Lucrezia herself was not a fan of religious services either, but she found the quiet murmur of prayers to be peaceful and it helped her relax after a long week of stress.

Lucrezia took her place in between Cesare and their mother. She opens her prayer book and tries to patiently follow along. Within a half hour, she felt her eyes begin to droop. Her head felt like a bowling ball on her shoulders, and willed itself to lie on Cesare's shoulder. He chuckles quietly and gently nudges her awake. She groans internally and tries to keep her eyes focused forward.

Services were done mainly in Latin with quick English translations to summarize the texts. Cesare didn't need the translation; he could speak Latin fluently. He sighs a little more loudly than he intended and he receives a hard nudge in the gut from his father. Cesare presses his lips together; a small smile plays on his lips to avoid laughing out loud.

But, one glance back at his father's face causes a loss in Cesare's amusement. Rodrigo's expression held such passion, such adoration at every word that was being spoken. Again, Cesare wondered what his father considered a sin.

Cesare remembered his first time visiting his father's office, when he was just fourteen.

"_Father, who are those men?" _He had asked Rodrigo, of the three tall, muscular, incredibly intimidating men standing in a corner of his father's office.

"_Just some of my most trusted workers," _Rodrigo waved nonchalantly. "_They keep our family safe, and make sure the company runs smoothly. They deal with any other companies that cause us a bit of trouble." _

Cesare remembers that very same year a competitor was threatening to expose Rodrigo's past secrets to worsen the Borgia Company's image, and make his own look better. He remembered the "workers" coming to the Borgia household to discuss "business." Vanozza would not allow them to sit in the formal living area, like other guests. Rodrigo had had a very long conference with the men, discussing the competitor. Two days later, Cesare watched the local news anchor report the competitor's "shocking suicide." He had apparently leapt from his office's window to end his life.

Just a month later, Rodrigo bought out the man's company.

Cesare thoughts were interrupted by Lucrezia, who was snuggling herself into Cesare's side. She flashes him a quick smile, and then brings her attention forward once again. Cesare stares at his sister for a long moment; his heart gushes and tightening all at once.

This was his baby sister. It was his duty to protect her and keep her safe. But, lately he felt that the only thing she needed protecting from was himself. The sleeping in Cesare's room at night, the kisses in the garden, the long, wanting glances she kept throwing him….It was all so very wrong. But then why couldn't he bring himself to stop?

Cesare looks over at his father. Rodrigo's head is bowed, his eyes shut as he whispers prayers. His father either accepts his sins as necessary or is completely oblivious to his wrongdoings. Whatever the case, Cesare suddenly got the strong impression that _he _was the only real hypocrite in the family.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm warning you now, this chapter is quite lengthy! This is going to be it for awhile, since I'm neglecting my other story. But, it lays the groundwork for a few conflicts that are going to arise throughout the rest of the story. So….enjoy! xo **

Lucrezia throws a large, pink garment bag on her bed with a huff. She kicks off her shoes and dives face-first into her pillow. The day had not gone how she planned it at all.

They left church at around noon. Lucrezia bounced around excitedly at the thought of Cesare coming shopping with her and their mother. Rodrigo grinned at his daughter and asked her why she was so giddy. Vanozza had reminded him they had to get a dress for the debutante ball today.

"Well!" Lucrezia's father exclaimed. "Why don't we all go? Make it a family affair! We'll get lunch afterwards!"

"_After?" _Gioffre whined, holding his stomach.

Lucrezia's face fell for a split second. _Everyone? _But, she soon shrugged it off. What did it matter? Cesare was still going to be there, and her father always had her best interests.

A few minutes later a very excited Rodrigo and Vanozza dragged their daughter and their quite unenthused sons into a high fashion boutique. All Vanozza had to do was take one step into the store to send everyone in a frenzy. She was the boutique's best customer, and so she received the all-star treatment.

"Mrs. Borgia!" A very tall, thin Asian woman greeted Vanozza. Her long black hair and chicly dressed delicate framed impressed Lucrezia –as well as intimidated her. "And Mr. Borgia!" The woman clapped her hands together. "What a wonderful surprise!"

Lucrezia rolled her eyes. She could imagine the attendants in the back rooms cheering and strategically showcasing the most expensive gowns in the store.

The attendant suddenly took Lucrezia's hand and pulled her forward. "Let's just take a good look at you!" She tucked a bit of hair in Lucrezia's face behind her ear and examined her face.

"Petite, fair skinned, blonde, thin," The woman paced around Lucrezia taking note of her every feature. "Not to mention a cute little waist!" She poked Lucrezia on the nose, causing her to blush fiercely.

Behind her, she heard Juan snigger. Lucrezia looked back at him and glared, which just encouraged Juan further.

"Right!" The attendant clapped again. "Come this way everyone!"

She led the Borgias into a large, pristine sitting area. The couches and sitting chairs were all white covered in various expensive looking pillows. A small end table held a glass vase with blood-red roses.

Rodrigo plopped down on one of the couches with a grin plastered to his face. Gioffre groaned and buried his head into his father's arm.

Lucrezia cautiously followed the woman from the sitting room to a small dressing room, which was hidden by thick red curtains.

"So, darling, tell me," the woman smiled at her brightly. "What are your favorite colors? Dress styles? Necklines? Spill it to me!"

Lucrezia blinked for a moment. Could one have a favorite neckline? "I…erm…don't like…poof." She muttered. The woman puzzled for a minute, then returned to her smile. "No ball gown bottoms, got it. What else?"

Lucrezia said she wanted something simple and fitted. No bright colors; something very neutral. She wanted to look very sophisticated; she didn't want to stand out by any means. The woman looked surprised by her requests, but told Lucrezia she'd find something she was looking for.

Vanozza watched the attendant step out of the dressing room. She squeezed Rodrigo's knee. "I'm going to help her find something for 'Crezia." "Make sure it's something she would _actually _wear!" Rodrigo chuckled.

Cesare had been rather quiet for most of the day; he was lost in his own thoughts. Church today had put him in an off mood. He felt so…_guilty. _He had been much too accepting and encouraging toward Lucrezia. It was time he should distance himself from her for awhile. Just long enough to figure this entire mess out.

Vanozza had come back with the attendant with an armload of dresses. It became quite clear that she had taken over the job of dress shopping.

When the woman brought the dresses to Lucrezia to try on, her heart sank. For a moment there she'd thought she would actually have a say in what she would wear to the ball. She sighed and unzipped one of the garment bags.

…

Three dresses in, and Juan and Gioffre were absolutely squirming.

Lucrezia had tried on her mother's picks, and was repulsed one after another. The first was a tight, heavily studded Mermaid dress with a fluff of tulle at the bottom. The woman murmured something about a famous Italian designer that Lucrezia's mother "positively adored."

Before Lucrezia made it to the pedestal, Gioffre giggled madly, calling her a fish.

The second was a Lucrezia's worst nightmare: a blush colored Princess gown with a shimmering bodice and ruffled silk skirt that hit the floor.

Juan commented that she looked like a pink cake. Rodrigo agreed, saying that the dress seemed to wear Lucrezia instead of the other way around.

As Lucrezia was getting fitted into her third dress, Gioffre and Juan had taken to a game of wrestling on the sitting room floor. An attendant in the corner looked on wearily as they inched closer and closer to the glass vase.

"Boys!" Vanozza barked. "Get off of the floor _now!" _

"But, this is so boring!" Gioffre whined. "Can we go?"

"Fine!" Vanozza snapped. "Juan, take your brother out to eat."

Rodrigo fished into his wallet and pulled out a few twenties. "Cesare, call a cab and entertain your brothers."

Cesare hesitated for a moment, staring at the money in Rodrigo's hand. He knew that if he left he would be hurting Lucrezia, but on the other hand… _Distance, _he affirmed. _We need distance. _

A few moments later, Lucrezia walked out in a baby blue number with only Rodrigo and Vanozza to greet her.

…

The week leading up to the ball had thrown the Borgia house into frenzy. Since Vanozza was so involved with the whole production, the household became a storage/meeting area. Furniture and props littered the house; a never-ending trail of caterers and board members stalked in and out of the living area to meet with Vanozza.

Since this was a yearly occurrence, the Borgia children were not too surprised. However, it was a time of year they dreaded. The house became cluttered and disorganized. Family meals were postponed, and so it became every man for himself. Gioffre used this time as an excuse to eat sugary cereals for every meal, while Juan liked to pay one of the chauffeurs extra to drive around to various restaurants to pick up meals and deliver them to him. Cesare would normally take Lucrezia out to whatever restaurants she wished, but this year things were a little different between them.

It had suddenly dawned on Cesare at around Tuesday evening that he wasn't sure exactly who was avoiding whom. When Lucrezia had come home from dress shopping, she was livid. She hadn't even attempted to sneak into his room, keeping her door firmly shut throughout the night. Instead of redeeming himself, Cesare decided to remain aloof.

This made Lucrezia even angrier.

She left for school early in the morning to avoid him, and went up to bed while the sun was still up. Since they weren't going out to eat, Cesare worried that she wasn't getting any meals. But one afternoon at the office, Juan's chauffeur showed up a half an hour late.

"Where were you?" Juan snapped, snatching the Styrofoam box out of his hands.

"I-I'm sorry!" The man apologized. "I'm not used to making deliveries for your sister either!"

By Thursday morning Cesare was starting to reconsider his decision. She could act on as long as she wished, but it wasn't fooling him. He knew that she was deeply hurt by his actions. He had made Lucrezia angry before, but she would normally turn around in a day or two.

Cesare wouldn't even get a chance to confront her until the night of the ball. Rodrigo had the boys work overtime to clear his entire schedule for the weekend. By the time they would get home, Lucrezia would already be asleep.

Early Saturday morning, Lucrezia awoke to her mother thrusting open her curtains. "Today's the day!" Vanozza squealed excitedly, shaking her leg.

Lucrezia groaned at the sunlight and turned the other way. "Up!" Vanozza cried, and threw back her comforter.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Lucrezia moaned.

"Stop being so dramatic!" Her mother snapped. "Now get up! We have lots to prepare for!"

…

Before the evening's event, Lucrezia had been forced into a day of extreme preparation. Her mother had made her an array of appointments at various saloons. Lucrezia had been forbidden from getting ready at her own home, even shaving hers legs in the privacy of her bathroom had been out of the question. Vanozza had insisted on making Lucrezia an appointment to have them waxed.

When the time came from Lucrezia to make her debut, she was starving and exhausted. When Vanozza had her back turned, Lucrezia had one of the maids get her a granola bar and cup of coffee from the kitchen.

Finally, at approximately six 'o clock, Lucrezia headed downstairs to the living area to meet Giovanni and the rest of the Sforzas. Rodrigo insisted they all travel together as it was _"Only polite!" _Lucrezia's stomach was turning with each step; she gripped the stair railing so hard her knuckles turned white.

As Cesare watched his sister's descent down the stairs, he couldn't help but beam.

She had chosen a light pink, floor length Romanesque gown. Gold thread was delicately embroidered at her waist and throughout the bodice of her dress. Her hair was half up-half down with flowing curls down her shoulders; her head topped with a pearly headband.

"Ah! My darling!" Rodrigo exclaimed and held out his hand for Lucrezia to grip. She smiled shyly, noticing the Sforzas in the room. Her father introduced her to each of them. Giovanni was every bit as unappealing as Cesare had made him sound to be; but luckily, he didn't seem to be the least bit interested in her. He gave her a stoic hello before turning back to his sister.

Cesare grabbed his sister's hand and twirled her around him. "So, you found a dress that suited you afterall!"

"No thanks to you." Lucrezia retorted. Though, a small smile played on her lips. She was happy her brother was acknowledging her once again.

"You look beautiful, sis." He says.

"I would hope so! Mother just spent a fortune having every inch of my body exfoliated, waxed, painted." She sighed.

Cesare chuckled. "Don't give the all the credit to the beauticians. You were perfect to begin with." He picked up her hand and placed a kiss on it.

"Will you save a dance for me, Cesare?" Lucrezia asked.

Cesare grinned, "Absolutely."

…

"Everyone! Everyone! Please, quiet in the ballroom! It is time to announce our ladies and gentlemen of the evening: The debutantes!"

Inside a small room, just below a grand staircase, Lucrezia gripped her mask and waited with the other debutantes and Giovanni. She was relieved to find that she wasn't the only one with a date outside of high school. A few other girls had taken college boys as their dates. However, she was definitely the only teenager in the ball with a _man _as her date. Vittoria, a blonde girl of Lucrezia's age was certainly impressed she had brought Giovanni Sforza. Lucrezia, on the other hand, was completely humiliated. _Just another day in the life of Lucrezia Borgia. _

While Giovanni chatted with his brother, Lucrezia peeked out the door and saw Cesare standing next to her father. She couldn't help but think how handsome he looked in his tightly fitted designer tuxedo with his hair slicked back nicely. Cesare noticed Lucrezia spying through the doorway, and he winked at her through the crowd.

One by one, each person's name was called along with their dates, the names of the person's parents, and what the debutante wished to accomplish after high school.

_I wish I could've written stripper. _Lucrezia mused.

One of the board members called her and Giovanni forward. Lucrezia's stomach started churning once again. She looped her arm through his, just as her mother told her to do, and they walked toward the base of the stairs.

"Next, we have Miss Lucrezia Borgia with her date, Giovanni Sforza. She is the only daughter of Rodrigo and Vanozza Borgia. When she graduates, Lucrezia would like to study art history in Europe."

Lucrezia straightened her back and tried to walk up the stairs as gracefully as possible. Below her, the guests clapped and she could hear her brothers whistling. She glanced over her shoulder, and saw Cesare shaking the hands with a tall blonde.

"Ah," Giovanni whispered to no one in particular. "That'll be my cousin, Ursula."

…

As he watched Lucrezia reach the top of the stairs, Rodrigo tugged on Cesare arm. Caterina Sforza was standing next to a thin, pretty blonde. "Son," his father said. "This is Caterina's cousin, Ursula Bonadeo."

Ursula held out her hand to him. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Cesare." She smiled broadly at him. "Caterina's told me so much about you."

Cesare was pleasantly surprised at how attractive the Sforza's cousin was. Her hair was as blonde as his Lucrezia's, but a little shorter and less curly. She had on an elegant purple dress which complemented her skin tone as well as her figure.

"Charmed," Cesare said, grinning back at her.

…

As Lucrezia exited down the upper floor onto a secondary staircase, a close friend was there to greet her.

"Giulia Farnese!"

Giulia was Lucrezia's language tutor. During her freshman year, Lucrezia expressed her wish to study Art History in Europe. Rodrigo was fond of the idea, and encouraged his daughter's dream by hiring various language tutors, insisting that his daughter needed to become fully fluent in the major languages of Europe. Lucrezia got out of two high school classes each year for a homeschooled lesson in German, French, Spanish, and Italian. Up until last year, she had different tutors for each language, but then her mother had discovered Giulia.

Giulia was educated in six languages, and fully fluent in the four Lucrezia wished to learn. She was also an Art History minor, and worked with several museums across Europe. Lucrezia idolized Giulia and in turn, Giulia adored Lucrezia like a sister.

Giovanni excused himself to say hello to his cousin. Giulia and Lucrezia kissed each other on each cheek before embracing in a tight hug.

"I'm back from England, did you miss me?" Giulia asked Lucrezia playfully.

They would normally start their sessions in September, once Lucrezia started school. However, Giulia had been called on business at the British Museum.

"Of course I missed you!" Lucrezia squealed. "I've been totally friendless!"

The paired traipsed their way over to Lucrezia's parents. "Mother! Father!" Lucrezia dragged Giulia over to them. "Look who is back!"

"Giulia!" Rodrigo exclaimed. He leaned over and kissed Lucrezia's tutor on the cheek. Vanozza smiled pleasantly at her before kissing her on the cheek as well.

The four made small talk for awhile about Giulia's work in England. "Can I stay at Giulia's tonight?" Lucrezia asked suddenly. Rodrigo agreed wholeheartedly, but Vanozza hesitated. "We do have the brunch at eleven…"

Before she could protest, Rodrigo interrupted. "That gives Lucrezia plenty of time to get up and dressed in the morning. She's deserved a bit of fun! You're invited as well, Giulia." He added with a grin.

"Wonderful! Thank you so much!" She leaned over and kissed her father's forehead before dragging Giulia off to the refreshments area.

…

Lucrezia sat with Giulia at a small table in the corner of the ballroom. She tried to pay attention to Giulia's stories of her summer traveling in Europe, but she would often get distracted and glance over at Cesare.

Cesare and Ursula had not stopped talking since their introduction. She was finishing up her last year at University, majoring in Philosophy. She was very close with Caterina, and stayed at the Sforza during the year because it was close to her school.

He found her to be charming, witty, and incredibly sexy. Her charismatic personality had her seemingly gliding on air. Ursula could hold an intelligent conversation with Cesare, and flirt with him shamelessly. Cesare was sure he'd never met a woman quite like her.

While going to get him and Ursula a glass of wine, Rodrigo rushed over to talk to his son. "You _must _ask her for a dance! She is the Sforzas favorite niece!" Cesare assured his father he needn't ask him twice. Rodrigo gave him a hearty laugh, and slapped him on his back.

Before returning to his spot next to Ursula, Cesare paused for a moment. He promised Lucrezia earlier he would dance with her. _Well, she never said it had to be the first one. _Cesare reasoned. _First, Ursula, then Lucrezia, _He decided.

Cesare stopped by a table where Juan was chatting loudly to Caterina and a few other women. "Can you dance with our sister on the first round?" He whispered into his ear. "So she won't have to dance with Giovanni?"

Juan shrugged. "Sure."

…

It was announced over the speakers that the first official dance of the evening would take place. Lucrezia scanned the crowd, searching for Cesare to come for her. Instead, Juan rushed over to her table. He greeted Giulia, and then took Lucrezia to the dance floor.

"Don't want you dancing with the old man, now do we?" Juan winked at her. Lucrezia just smiled back, and placed one hand into Juan's and one hand on his shoulder.

They glided gracefully over the classical music. As they were turning, Juan kept winking at some of Lucrezia's classmates. "Juan!" She rolled her eyes and hit him playfully.

She suddenly saw Cesare gliding beside them with his hand on Ursula Bonadeo's waist. Juan seemed to notice her staring. "I think father encouraged him to dance with her." He explained.

_Father encouraged? _That must've meant that Cesare absolutely had to postpone their dance. Lucrezia mentally kicked herself for being so silly. "So, father asked you to dance with me then?" She inquired.

To her surprise, Juan shook his head. "Actually, it was Cesare."

She whipped her head back over and watched Cesare once more. He was smiling brightly as Ursula giggled. He twirled her around before lowering her down for a dip. Ursula threw her head back and laughed. Lucrezia couldn't stop noticing how graceful and attractive Ursula was. She also couldn't help but notice how aware of that Cesare was.

Lucrezia gripped Juan's shoulder as a cold feeling had sunken into her. His behavior this entire week had suddenly made so much sense. The summer had faded, and it was now well into autumn. And so, this was how it was to be: things would simply go back the way they were. Only Lucrezia knew that was not possible; she had dug herself far too deep to crawl back out.

When the song had ended, Juan pulled away from her and clapped for the band. Lucrezia clapped too, only she was barely aware of what was going on around her. She hurried off the dance floor until she found Giulia. She took one glance back; Ursula was now laughing hysterically as she slapped Cesare's chest. He laughed along with her, and pulled her hand up to his lips.

Lucrezia felt like she was going to be sick.

"Giulia," she breathed.

Her tutor's face morphed into concern. "'Crezia? What's wrong, darling?"

"Please get me out of her," She begged. "Right now,"

"But, midnight isn't for another hour." Giulia protested. "Don't you want to stay for the end?"

"No!" Lucrezia heaved. She had her hand on her chest, and was breathing heavily. "I feel as if I'm going to be sick. Please," she begged again. "Take me out of here."

Giulia nodded and stood up quickly. She had a wonderful way of understanding Lucrezia completely. "Gather your things and go to the front. Ask for Giulia Farnese's car, the driver will bring it around. Wait for me inside. I'm going to tell your parents I'm taking you back with me."

Lucrezia rushed over to the coat check and asked for her jacket and bag. Before reaching the doors, she took one last look at Cesare. He was sipping wine casually as Ursula kissed his cheek.

She turn away from the scene and ran out the double doors.

…

Giulia Farnese smoothed out Lucrezia's hair as she cried into her shoulder. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" She asked Lucrezia calmly.

Lucrezia thought for a moment. _What to say? _"I fell for someone I shouldn't have," she said after awhile.

"Ahh," Giulia smiled. "Young love, I see how it is."

Lucrezia sat up. "It's much more than that Giulia. I can't stay here anymore."

"Why is that? Is it about the boy?"

"No," Lucrezia snapped. "Well, yes." She admitted after a second or two. "But, it's everything here. It's school, it's family."

Giulia leaned toward her. "Enlighten me, my dear. What's going on in your life?"

Lucrezia sighed and squeezed her eyes tight. "I don't fit in at school. I never have. I'm so different from the other girls."

"Much more mature," Giulia agreed. "What teenager would take on the task of learning four languages?"

Lucrezia sighed again. "I feel so hopeless Giulia. I need an escape. I wish I could go with you somehow."

Giulia turned her head away, and thought for a moment. "There _is _one way."

"Oh?" Giulia had Lucrezia's full attention.

"I was going to wait to ask you until senior year, but I suppose now is as good as any." She smiled and gripped Lucrezia's hand. "Would you like to be my intern?"

"Your intern?" Lucrezia laughed. "Isn't that only for college students?"

Giulia shrugged. "Not necessarily. You are at one of the most advanced college prep schools in the country. I'm sure they would quite understand if you took a leave to homeschooling for a year."

"Oh, really?" Lucrezia asked excitedly. "Would you help me ask my parents?"

"Of course!" Giulia squeezed her student's hand. "I have a feeling your father would be very fond of the idea.

…

The next morning at the Borgia home, Lucrezia requested an audience with her parents in the library. Vanozza was irritated to leave the hosting to Juan and Cesare, but the urgency in Lucrezia's voice gave her the feeling it was definitely something she needed to hear.

Vanozza was deeply concerned for her daughter, especially because of the night before. She saw Lucrezia talking desperately to Giulia, and then when her tutor had come over to she and Rodrigo, informing them that Lucrezia was terribly upset…It was all very unusual.

Rodrigo cupped his daughter's face and kissed her forehead before he sat down. "Now, tell me my love, what is going on with you? Your mother and I are very concerned."

Giulia began to explain to her parents her idea of having Lucrezia as her intern. She said that Lucrezia's academic skills and love of history would be most beneficial to her. It would open the doors to grand opportunities to Lucrezia, including giving her the opportunity to apply her language skills.

"What about her education?" Vanozza asked. "Surely we can't just glide her into her next year."

"Of course not," Giulia agreed. "I am very well acquainted with many professors who –if compensated –would gladly tutor Lucrezia in each subject."

"It would most certainly give her an edge when she starts applying to Universities next year." Giulia added.

"This is going to cost an absolute fortune!" Rodrigo huffed. Vanozza agreed.

While Giulia reasoned with her parents, Lucrezia watched Cesare in the dining area. Ursula had been invited to the brunch, and was sitting between Cesare and Juan. He didn't even seem to notice Lucrezia had entered the room, which is exactly why Lucrezia hadn't even bothered to seat herself.

She suddenly had gotten the same cold feeling that had crept upon her the night before. Without even meaning to, Lucrezia let out a loud sob.

Rodrigo and Vanozza silenced themselves. In the other room, conversation had completely stopped. On other occasions, Lucrezia would be deeply embarrassed. Today, however, she couldn't be bothered to care less.

Giulia took Lucrezia's hand. "Tell them what you told me last night." She murmured.

"Tell me what?" Rodrigo demanded.

"Go on," Giulia encouraged.

At the table, Cesare watched his sister tearfully talk to their parents.

"Is everything all right?" Mrs. Sforza leaned across the table to whisper to Cesare.

"I saw her dash out of the ballroom last night." Caterina commented, cutting her crepe in half. "She seemed to be distressed about something."

Cesare suddenly felt like an ass. He had been too drunk and too distracted by Ursula to seriously consider his sister's absence. His mother had told him Lucrezia wasn't feeling well, and wished to go visit Giulia Farnese. At the time Cesare thought Lucrezia had come up with an excuse to leave the ball early. It had never occurred to him to call his sister to confirm. He was starting to seriously regret that decision now.

As the four stepped out of the dining area, Vanozza told a red-eyed Lucrezia to "pack her things." Lucrezia and Giulia quickly departed from the room. Rodrigo clapped his hands and turned back to their guests.

"Sorry about all the commotion!"

"Lucrezia needed to speak with us about something." Vanozza interjected.

Cesare's heart skipped a beat. "Speak with you about what?" He inquired.

"A little opportunity Giulia Farnese has offered her." She smiled pleasantly as she passed Mr. Sforza a container full of orange juice.

"Should I go see if she is all right?" Cesare tried to ask casually.

"No," Vanozza shook her head. "She is not feeling well."

Cesare nodded his head and smiled awkwardly at Ursula. She didn't seem to notice, and continued the conversation she was having before.

Vanozza eyed her son wearily. Lucrezia had told her and Rodrigo that her upset was due to issues with the children at her school. But Vanozza couldn't help but feel that that wasn't the whole story. Lucrezia and Cesare were always seemingly attached at the hip until recently. Why had the two started to suddenly act like the other wasn't even in the room? She had a strong, tugging feeling that Cesare's sudden interest in Ursula Bonadeo had something to do with Lucrezia's wanting departure.

…

Cesare hadn't seen his sister in two days. He was shocked to find out the next morning that his father was withdrawing her from school. Rodrigo informed him of Giulia's proposal.

"It will be good for her," he assured Cesare. "She's far more advanced than the other students."

Cesare knew that his father deeply cared for his sister's happiness, but wasn't naïve enough to ignore what really seemed to sell Rodrigo on this: _La Bella Farnese's _involvement.

Juan suddenly burst through Cesare's office door. "Our dear sister has departed for England."

Cesare dropped the stack of paper's he was holding. "W-what? So suddenly? Without even saying good-bye?"

Juan laughed. "Well, she said good-bye to _me_! Gioffre and mother as well."

"I just don't understand." Cesare groaned as he gathered the papers from the floor. "It's not like Lucrezia to leave so suddenly, and make such rash decisions."

Juan leaned again Cesare's door casually. "I know why she left." He eyed his brother gathering the papers.

"We both do."

Cesare stopped and look up at his brother. "What are you saying?" He asked, in a voice more shrill than he intended. "I don't know why she left." He added quickly.

Juan smirked at his older brother. "Don't play stupid, Cesare. We both know why Lucrezia left." He repeated.

As if on cue, Ursula burst through the door, Caterina in tow. "Hello there! Thought I'd bring by some lunch for everyone!" She carried three grease-stained bags from Cesare's favorite Italian restaurant.

Juan and Cesare's eyes were locked as Ursula kissed him on the cheek.

"You know." He said again, and with that, departed from the office.

"Know what?" Ursula asked brightly.

But, Cesare ignored her and just watched his brother walk away, his words echoing in his head.

_We both know. _


	7. Chapter 7

**Three years ago –Cesare's Twentieth Birthday**

Lucrezia pressed her ear against Cesare's door as hard as she could. She strained to hear the conversation going on the other side.

"Go down the back staircase, to the servant's quarters. Ask for my chauffer, he'll take you home."

"Will I ever see you again?" A girl's voice asked.

"Probably not," (Cesare's response made Lucrezia snigger.) "But perhaps I'll see you around."

Before Lucrezia could even step away from the door, Cesare swung it open. Behind him, a young girl around his age was hurriedly trying to cover her naked self with a bed sheet. Lucrezia's eyes looked with Cesare's. She let out a small laugh before darting away.

She made one foot into her room before Cesare grabbed a hold of her waist. He flung Lucrezia over his shoulder and carried her over to her bed. Giggling madly, she pounded her fists onto his back, demanding to be let down.

Cesare obliged, and threw her onto her bed.

"Spying on me, were you?" He asked as he tickled her stomach.

Lucrezia swatted his hands away. "No!" She laughed. "I was trying to wish you a 'Happy Birthday' but _someone _beat me to it!"

Cesare chuckled and wrapped his arms around Lucrezia. "She didn't know it was my birthday today," He said into her ear, as his chin rested on her shoulder. "You'll be the first to wish me one."

"Good!" Lucrezia turned herself in his lap so that she was facing him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him firmly on the cheek. "Happy birthday, Cesare!"

The pair emerged from the bedroom with Lucrezia riding on Cesare's back. Juan started to greet them as he walked down the hallway, but was distracted as he walked past Cesare's room. He stopped and peered inside.

"Oh, hi there," Juan casually leaned against Cesare's doorway. "My name's Juan. I'm Cesare's brother."

Cesare and Lucrezia burst into laughter. The girl cautiously came out of the room, now fully clothed. She was in a tight, black mini dress and tall, red clubbing heels. She threw Juan a disgusted look, and hurriedly made her way to the servant's staircase.

Juan let out a whistle. "My brother, you have some taste."

After breakfast Vanozza shooed everyone away to prepare for Cesare's party. Lucrezia skipped up the stairs to her room, Cesare following close behind her, holding her hand.

He went to sit on the edge of her bed as she stood in front of her opened closet. Lucrezia tapped her foot on the carpeting, hands on her hips, pondering what to wear for the day's event. Her expression was so serious; with her lips pursued and her eyes narrowed as she scanned her clothing.

Cesare snickered behind her. She turned around to glare at him. "You're not being very helpful!" She whined.

He laughed and lifted himself from the bed. He hugged her waist and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Hmm…" He hummed playfully. Cesare reached forward and thumbed the fabric of a dress.

"You look stunning in blue." He murmured.

The dress was a light blue, lacy baby doll dress with a fitted waist and pleated skirt.

"Well then," Lucreiza yanked the dress off of its hanger. "Blue it is."

By noon the guests had started arriving, and within the hour the Borgia home was filled with visitors. Some were family, some were friends, and many more were Rodrigo's business partners and even competitors. The Borgia patriarch took strongly to the "keep friends close and enemies closer" philosophy.

Cesare watched his sister walked around the garden, welcoming guests and serving them drinks. Lucrezia was naturally quite shy, but when her father would ask her to play hostess and make everyone feel comfortable, she would always comply. Cesare knew that Lucrezia never liked the thought of letting anyone down. It was endearing and worrying all at once; Cesare never wanted her to compromise her happiness for someone else's.

He smiles at her across the yard, noticing the sun's light glinting off of Lucrezia's necklace; the very same one he had given her a year before for her birthday. She skipped over to him, a grin plastered to her face.

Cesare took her hand into his and placed a kiss on it. "What are you so giddy about?" He asked.

She squeezed his hand. "I want you give you your gift!"

Cesare chuckled. "Alright, well, shall we steal away for a moment?"

Lucrezia nodded enthusiastically and followed Cesare into the house. They avoided the large crowd by the main staircase, and went through the kitchen to the back staircase. The two fell into a comfortable silence with their hands in one another's.

When they entered Lucrezia's bedroom, Cesare laid down on the bed while Lucrezia searched in her closet for his gift. She pulled out a rectangular package with dark red wrapping paper and a black bow on top.

"My two favorite colors," Cesare grinned, taking the package into his hands. "You know me too well."

Lucrezia shifted nervously. "It's not anything fancy or expensive… just a book."

Cesare ripped open the paper. It was a faded, hardback copy of _Edith Hamilton's Mythology. _The cover was a soft gray, the wording almost faded. When he opened to the first page, Cesare caught a whiff of a sweet dusty smell.

He smiled broadly up at Lucrezia. "It's wonderful, sis. Where'd you find this?"

Lucrezia blushed softly at the compliment. "At a secondhand bookstore downtown," Cesare motioned for her to lie next to him.

She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head onto his chest. "You used to read all the myths to me when I was younger. Do you remember?"

Cesare pictured a ten year old Lucrezia sitting onto his lap in the old rocking chair in Gioffre's nursery. The way she'd look up at him with eager, bright eyes when the story turned dangerous. "_Want me to stop?" _He'd tease. Her eyes would widen in horror. _"No, no!" _She'd say. "_Keep going!" _

Cesare kissed the top of her head. "Of course I remember. You loved those stories."

She shifted so she could nuzzle her head into his neck. They were silent for a few moments, content with being in each other's arms.

"Cesare," Lucrezia said suddenly.

"Mmm?"

"Do you really like those kinds of girls?"

Cesare thought for a moment. "You mean the one this morning? Her kind?

"Yes," Lucrezia sat up to face him full on. "The ones with short skirts and tall heels, you like those girls?"

Cesare shrugged. "I suppose so. For certain things I mean,"

"Certain things?" Lucrezia giggled.

Cesare shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like the thought of the conversation turning to his sex life. It didn't seem an appropriate thing to discuss in front of Lucrezia; she was far too innocent to him.

Lucrezia furrowed her brow for a moment. "I'm not like those girls." She said quietly, putting her head down.

Cesare lightly touched her chin with his index finger and guided her head upwards. "Why would you want to be love? You're wonderful just as you are."

The corner of Lucrezia's mouth twitched. "Will you marry a girl like that?"

Cesare sighed. "Probably not," His thoughts clouded his attention for a moment. Marriage…it seemed foreign to Cesare. Something he could observe, admire, but never quite touch or get the hold of.

He leaned forward to kiss Lucrezia's temple. "What's all this talk about anyway?" He kissed her chin. "Hmm?"

Lucrezia giggled. "You're right. Silly stuff," She pulled him into a tight hug once again. "Happy birthday, Cesare. I love you."

"Love you too, 'Crezia."

...

**A/N: Little short and not too thrilling. But, I had to update because are super nice and I've been kind of obsessing over writing this story. I love you all more than I love Francois Arnaud's face. Micheletto soon and Paolo to come along soon after. **


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